Continuing Again

Its wonderful how somethings in life can’t be left behind once and for all .. that’s how this blog has been for me .. i come back to it whenever life pushes me to it’s core its because it’s here that i find myself all free to express myself and the fears and sorrows that are buried deep down in my heart .. life has been really blissful for me that past few years .. i have had the best of education the best of friends and environment but still there is that space in my heart which remains empty no matter what the surrounding environment tends to be .. it’s the emptiness of not being upto ones expectations and desires … My life is a complicated story of joy and sorrows pushing down one and the other turn by turn unfolded here in short paragraphs ..

To be continued …

Internal Conflict

Have you ever been in a situation where the two people you admire and love the most becomes the worst enemies of each other?

Yes, I’ve been through it and still am suffering from it. Its when you watch them tore apart your dreams in their quarrels and you are there unable to move a limb because choosing one could mean loosing the other forever.

You might be wondering, why don’t you solve their conflict .. well It’s a conflict that can’t be solved when both of them want you to choose either one of em, because they think the other one isn’t good enough … Yes, i know it is as complicated as it sounds.

I am on a stage in life where just a slight push could mean the end for me. Why? Because its getting unbearable to watch and why am i not getting rid if both of em? Because it’s difficult to let go of your family …

To be Continued …

Mental Torture

Life is like a roller coaster, It’s never steady. When you wish for good days to come, you’ll have to go through the worst before knowing it’s true value. We all have been hurt in life, at some point even to the point of collapsing but it’s never as hard as watching someone go through pain because of you.

Being a reason of someone’s pain is the last thing i ever wanted. Watching them suffer day and night and wondering what they might be thinking about me while going through that pain is Torture. It’s a mental torture that’s eating me from inside out. Maybe it’s easier when you wish bad for that person but it’s a complete devastation when you never wished anything bad to happen to them ever and you can’t do anything to ease their pain.

Maybe thats how life teaches us lessons, maybe thats how we grow. It might make us stronger but you never know if you really would be fine at the end of all this.

To be Continued …

The Legends of a Family

They say Islam suppresses the rights of women to be educated and be equal as men in the society. Well I’d say don’t believe what you see from far a distance, come close and know the reality.

My Grand grand father was the owner of lands in the time when Pakistan was under the rule of Britain. He had a village to his name but in that time it ment a life threatening danger. He was the person who would act as a judge when something would go wrong in the community and that had made him the top ranker on a hit list.

When the generations passed and the time came for my father, he would attend school with armed guards standing by his side in a classroom. My father still continued his education with a risk everyday that maybe he might not come home today. But he didn’t want his children to go through all this and took us far away to another country. He did this so his daughters would get the best of education there is under a stress free environment. He left behind his hometown and his family just for us and never thought twice about returning until we were standing on our feet.

Nowadays Pakistan has a very strong judicial system and its safe to the extent that one can go out of the house alone in the middle of a night and not worry about anything. So we have returned to our village our people and its a bright sunshine everyday and I couldn’t be anymore grateful for having a family that everyone would want to have.

To be Continued …